The Dreaded Day

It is late Sunday night, the house is quiet, the girls are dreaming and my sweet Devin is not sleeping next to me tonight...or any night this month for that matter.

I have been dreading this very day since the last rotation he spent away from me/us in May before Claire was born.  I knew this day was coming, just like I know the end of January will bring this same feeling again as he leaves to do 2 rotations back in Chicago in February and March, but there is really no way to prepare for this empty feeling.  I have done a great job at suppressing my emotions about this inevitable month of separation, but it all hit me this weekend, and I'm exhausted from he emotions that have manifested themselves.

This morning Devin and I woke up at 5:15, after going to bed only 3 1/2 hours earlier.  We stayed up last night getting him all packed and ready for this next long month of December.  We left the house at 6am for him to make his 7:15am flight to Dallas/Ft. Worth.  He will spend the next 5 weeks living in a call room of the hospital where he is doing his rotation, with a roommate he doesn't know and without a car to be able to escape.  He will be all by himself during this entire holiday season, away from me and his little girls.  After each long day of working in the hospital, he will have to discipline and commit himself to studying for his second round of Boards that he has to take on Jan 4th.  All the while he will know that I am with his parents and siblings doing all of the holidays traditions with our girls that he grew up doing...and he won't be with us.  I don't want to feel sorry for myself, because I knew this was going to happen, and it has to happen for us to move onto graduation and then residency...BUT...knowing that doesn't negate the fact that this situation is terrible and lonesome and I haven't even spent one night without him yet.  My heart truly breaks for him.  I, at least, have our girls and family around me...he is all alone doing nothing but working and studying.  I pray he will feel peace and strength to get him through.  He is amazing and has the best attitude and perspective, and I am trying to emulate his optimism.

We fit a lot in during the last 2 days and nights before he left:

He drove to his Grandpa's farm and put in half a days work doing manual farm chores alongside his grandpa.

We took some family pictures of just out little family of 4.

He and I went to the temple together, which hasn't happened since before Claire was born! (sad to admit)

We ate our favorite Cafe Rio meal and saw the lights at Temple Square (pictured below)

He got one last play session in with his dad and brothers; racquetball and basketball at the gym

We watched the exciting SEC championship game, with the saddest ending ever.  Go Dawgs!

We went on a real date...to see the new Lincoln movie and get dinner.  (This hasn't happened since the night before Claire was born...5 1/2 months ago!) 

Here are some pictures of our Cafe Rio and Temple Square night

 

This is the building where our wedding reception was held.

  Emily loved the fountains

On our walk back to the car, we passed a guy playing the bagpipes, and Emily could not help but stop and dance. She drew a little crowd and danced for about 15 minutes while he played. She was in her own little Irish world, with some good moves.

 

Again...drawn to the water/fountains

 

And all the while, this is what Claire was doing

 

It was a great night, and I'm so glad we decided to make the drive downtown, way past 2 little girl's normal bedtime. We all had a great night.